The Brothers Grimm - Much Like the Prospects of Me Seeing This Movie! A Filmless Review

*rimshot*

We all are familiar with the Brothers Grimm; Little Red Riding Hood, Snow White, Hansel and Gretel, Rapunzel... the list goes on and on. But did you know that they are also the lead characters in a Hollywood blockbuster staring Matt "Will Hunting/Jason Bourne" Damon and Heath "Ladies love me and I share my name with a mediocre candy bar" Ledger? The commercials are annoying and the plot synopses that I have read are so convoluted and asinine that I can't be bothered with trying to actually unravel that web of idiocy. I've gathered that the Grimm Brothers, Wilhelm and Jakob (but for the purposes of this supercool flick, Will and Jake!) make ends meet by convincing presumably ignorant townsfolk that supernatural creatures are running amok and can only be dealt with by employing their services. Apparently the scheme gets exposed at some point and they end up having to deal with "real" supernatural creatures. I would write this off as a stupid kids movie, except it's PG-13; so I'm forced to write it off as simply a stupid movie.

This is almost as stupid as Stealth... but at least Stealth didn't involve real people being thrown into a fantasy plot, so this might even be worse.

As I alluded to earlier, this film is reminding me how non-existent Heath Ledger's career is. I know he was in The Patriot with Mel Gibson, and Ned Kelly (which is apparently a good movie; not that I saw it), but... what else? I figured I was forgetting some things about him, so I went to his IMDB page. Turns out I'm not forgetting anything-- unless you consider "10 Things I Hate About You" to be something. He strikes me as a male Jessica Alba, where the stardom far exceeds the production. Of course, comparing Heath Ledger to Jessica Alba isn't entirely fair-- since she's pretty much the worst actress ever.

I suppose that this crap cloud's silver lining is that Monica Bellucci is in it. Two problems. One, I can only post one picture per post (not really, but I don't care enough to go through the procedure required), two, even if I were considering putting a picture up, "Monica Bellucci" and "tasteful picture on Google image search" seem to be mutually exclusive; and three, she didn't de-suck those Matrix sequels... so why would I expect her to save this piece of garbage? She's that person between Ledger and Damon in the poster anyway-- if you get a magnifying glass or something you can see her better.



Next Week's Filmless Review: "Underclassman" with Nick Cannon. Oh Yeah.